I wrote this song 12 years ago.
Found it this morning as I got the manic motivation to clean out old email, because that’s my biggest problem today…Thank God.
I was about to delete the highlighted messages when something caught my eye.
You can do this: An audio file from my friend and Slam Circus singer Andy Patalan.
The song was originally called “Always” and I wrote it for my second wife. When I played it for her She said, “whatever,” and went back to bed.
Some time later, I got home from a month long business deployment and she met me in the kitchen.
“Have you had enough coffee?”
“I'm gettin’ there.”
“Well, I need to tell you I’m not happy.”
So many emotions hit me that I didn’t know how to respond. Or maybe I did.
I had seen pictures of her partying in without her wedding ring and I was background processing how to handle it. You know, benefit of the doubt, and all the other bullshit we tell ourselves to avoid a hard truth.
A million thoughts churned and quickly coalesced.
“Ok, then go someplace you’ll be happy.”
“Where am I supposed to go?”
“That’s your problem now.”
We had two Doberman Pinschers at the time, siblings.
"Whatever you do, don’t split them up. Take both or neither.”
She split them up, took her favorite and left. Cruelty to animals is worse than cruelty to humans. It’s unforgivable.
During my month long business trip I had become friends with a waitress.
Applebees was the only restaurant open at 21:00 after I closed the record store, and she was there every night when I came in, double shot of Jim Beam waiting for me on my customary table.
I knew something was wrong at home and was already self-medicating, general anesthesia for a painful procedure I knew was coming.
I called my waitress friend after the wife left… That’s where this song came from. I changed the lyrics and decided I needed to sing it myself. My Slam Circus brothers fixed it up and Andy nailed the chorus like he always does.
Mike Purcell, Mark McCoy, Andy Patalan. Brothers.
So brother, if you're going through hell right now I need you to know it gets better.
I'll see you on the other side. If you're still alive, You're halfway there.